just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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