two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
