Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
