He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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