She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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