halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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