I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
