is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize