Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
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Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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