Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
