Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just cropdusted the office
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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