Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
