tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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