the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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