it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
