Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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