is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
