I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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