Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
