Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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