He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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