Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How's work?
Spinning.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
