I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
