He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
