i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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