I feel like abortions should bother me more
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
