this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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