I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My penis needs a shock collar
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
