My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
