Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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