So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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