well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
