I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
