Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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