I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
