You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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