spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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