Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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