so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
