she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
