Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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