Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
