WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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