So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
