I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
