If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
