UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
