Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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