let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
