their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
