I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
