see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
