i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
