yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wish you could order shots online.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
