Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize