Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
